So Then That Happened ...

[nightdog_barks]

SO. I've been away for a bit, and here's why ...



For about two weeks I confronted the possibility that I might have ovarian cancer. Six years ago, I had breast cancer and had a lumpectomy. Last Thursday, I had a total hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (that means they took out my uterus, fallopian tubes, cervix, and both ovaries -- the current protocol for women over the age of 45). I had a 16-cm ovarian cyst on my right side; it turned out to be simply filled with a clear liquid. Based on all of his tests and observations, the surgeon is 99% sure I do NOT have ovarian cancer (the pathology lab test has not come back yet, but he doesn't think it will show anything). I was discharged from the hospital on Monday and have been recovering at home. Aside from feeling like I've been hit by a truck, I'm doing okay.



In addition to all this, I am reading David Sedaris' Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977 - 2002 and loving it. :-)

Comments

[hannah]

That's one way to lose a couple pounds. Here's to a speedy recovery to soon feeling only like you've fallen off a bike.

I'm almost done with Goodbye to All That and I think you'd like it - a whole bunch of women reflecting on their lives and old dreams without nostalgia or pain, just a clear-eyed sense of how much they've changed.

[nightdog_barks]

Ha, when I think of Goodbye to All That, my immediate thought is of Rupert Graves! This other book sounds fascinating! I'll have to look into it. ♥ ♥ ♥

... and that should've been Robert Graves! Rupert Graves is the actor. Oh, Nightdog.

[flywoman]

16 cm?? That's *large*. What brought it to your attention?

I hope that you feel better soon!

[nightdog_barks]

Heh, I found out later that one of my close friends had had an ovarian cyst some years ago that was 17 cm.

My oncologist found it, in a routine exam. It wasn't there six months ago -- he asked if I had fibroids, and I said I didn't think so. He sent me for an ultrasound and then recommended a gynecological oncologist ("regular" gynecologists apparently don't deal with this kind of stuff). I knew I had been feeling more tired than usual, and my appetite had gone south, but these are also symptoms of the side effects of Trulicity, which I take for my Type II diabetes. So I might never have known until it had twisted or burst. O_o

[blackmare]

I'll out myself as the former owner of the ~17cm Thing. Mine was a dermoid, which I think meant largely solid, and came to my attention when it DID twist, and that? Is a special kind of agony.

Holy crap, I didn't realize they'd sent you to an oncologist. Like, "Hey, this isn't frightening ENOUGH, so here's a referral directly to a CANCER DOC but don't worry or anything."

[nightdog_barks]

Anne Wheaton (writer wife of Wil Wheaton) had that happen to her (her ovarian cyst twisted). She wrote about it here, and omfg it is an insane, INFURIATING read. Her X-rays were repeatedly misread by male doctors. O_o

And yeah! I didn't even know there were gynecological oncologists before this.

[blackmare]

I read that, and while my first imaging thing was an ultrasound, and was read correctly, I had to wait HOURS to get that far at the ER. Hours during which I lay there crying for help and literally puked because the pain was so bad, and I was roundly ignored and dismissed by the hospital staff.

Only later did I learn that they were endangering my life, because had the thing burst it could have created the same situation as a ruptured appendix, and killed me.

So, yeah. How much you wanna bet that if some dude had come in exhibiting those kinds of symptoms, he'd have been taken care of IMMEDIATELY?

[topaz_eyes]

Yikes, that's a big cyst! Glad to hear you're on the mend from the surgery. ♥ ♥ ♥

[nightdog_barks]

I know, right??? And my surgeon said he had seen MUCH LARGER. Omg. It's horrifying what one's body can decide to do ALL ON ITS OWN.

[silverjackal]

I'm very sorry you've been through such an ordeal (both the stress from the illness and the resolution), but it's wonderful to hear that everything is actually fine. It's good that they caught the cyst in any case because that's certainly not small! D:

Hopefully your recovery will be just as prompt and painless as possible.

[nightdog_barks]

Omg Jackal, the stress was terrible. It feels as though events moved so fast, everything is just now catching up with me. I think I'm most surprised at how little real pain I've had -- the surgeon prescribed a drug called Tramadol, and I've hardly needed to take any pills at all. ♥ ♥ ♥

[silverjackal]

I'm sure I can't imagine how bad the stress must have been. 1. They discover something very worrying. 2. It could be cancer, and a potentially very serious type. 3. You have no time to adjust to the diagnosis before bingo! Treatment. 4. Treatment is invasive and physically challenging to recover from because it's not minor. 5. You are already a cancer survivor, so any chance of the big C prompts very big feelings and memories associated with your original diagnosis and treatment... 6. And just like that it's over, with the best of all possible outcomes, but it was still a highly traumatic series of events which violated your bodily autonomy, and which has resulted in irrevocable physical changes. I'm sure there are more subtleties involved in there that I've missed. :( The TL:DR version of my list is that it's not remotely unreasonable to have a strong abreaction after something like that, or even PTSD, and if you feel like you need to speak to someone you should absolutely consider doing so if you haven't already thought of it yourself. A professional, I mean, not just friends and family.This shit's not for amateurs, yes? You know me, my default suggestion would also be meditation, but that's meant as a complimentary thing, not the sole help.

It's very good to hear that you're experiencing minimal pain, though. Quite apart from the relative pleasure that this is so, it's also a good indicator of proper healing. :)

[taiga13]

Hope you have a quick recovery, and glad to hear you're still cancer-free! I had an ovarian cyst drained when I was in my 20s but it wasn't any 16 cm, yikes.

[nightdog_barks]

I understand they are quite common! I wish I knew what sparked this one to suddenly take off, but I guess I'll never know. :-)

[jadesfire]

Good heavens. Glad you're doing okay - what an ordeal all over again. Such a relief that it's not cancerous.

Wishing you a speedy recovery <3

[nightdog_barks]

Thank you, Jades! :D

♥ ♥ ♥

[daasgrrl]

...yay?

I mean the not-cancer bit, not the feeling hit by a truck bit. But I'm glad you're okay and hope you're feeling better soon :)

[nightdog_barks]

I think yay will do it. :D

♥ ♥ ♥

[srsly_yes]

What a harrowing experience. Very relieved the cyst wasn't cancerous. Rest up, read plenty of books, and have a speedy recovery!

[nightdog_barks]

Me too! I mean, the statistics for post-menopausal women with pelvic masses are just horrifying. If I have escaped by the skin of my teeth, I will take it.

[tourmaline]

Glad to hear of the eventual good outcome, hope you feel better soon!

[nightdog_barks]

Thanks, Tourmaline! [[[hugs]]] <3 <3 <3

[yarroway]

I'm glad things are looking okay. That all sounds so scary. I had the same operation several months ago and I'm still not quite physically back to where I was before it, so give yourself some time.

I want to ask if there's anything you need, but that seems odd given the situation. But if there's anything you want that internet friends *can* give, please say so.

<3 <3 <3

[nightdog_barks]

Heh, I am trying to give myself time, but you know what I want gone right now?

That hospital smell. I swear I'm exuding it somehow, and it just keeps reminding me of the whole experience. I mean, there's the healing incision, and the tottering around like a 159-year-old, and the appetite that's simply vanished (for the most part), and Layla not understanding why she can't flop into my lap right now ...

Ugh, Yarroway, I don't even know. You guys are doing SO MUCH just by being here. ♥ ♥ ♥

[lovelythings]

<3 <3 <3 I'm glad you're doing okay! I hope you get the all-clear soon.

[nightdog_barks]

LEIA IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU

{{{hugs}}} ♥ ♥ ♥