nightdog_barks | (Reply)

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I'm sure I can't imagine how bad the stress must have been. 1. They discover something very worrying. 2. It could be cancer, and a potentially very serious type. 3. You have no time to adjust to the diagnosis before bingo! Treatment. 4. Treatment is invasive and physically challenging to recover from because it's not minor. 5. You are already a cancer survivor, so any chance of the big C prompts very big feelings and memories associated with your original diagnosis and treatment... 6. And just like that it's over, with the best of all possible outcomes, but it was still a highly traumatic series of events which violated your bodily autonomy, and which has resulted in irrevocable physical changes. I'm sure there are more subtleties involved in there that I've missed. :( The TL:DR version of my list is that it's not remotely unreasonable to have a strong abreaction after something like that, or even PTSD, and if you feel like you need to speak to someone you should absolutely consider doing so if you haven't already thought of it yourself. A professional, I mean, not just friends and family.This shit's not for amateurs, yes? You know me, my default suggestion would also be meditation, but that's meant as a complimentary thing, not the sole help.

It's very good to hear that you're experiencing minimal pain, though. Quite apart from the relative pleasure that this is so, it's also a good indicator of proper healing. :)