Um ... Just Playing Around

[nightdog_barks]

Asynca mentioned something over on TWoP and it just made me start thinking ...
Extremely rough (as in writing).



TITLE: The Year Wilson Died
AUTHOR: nightdog_writes
PAIRING: House/Wilson, House/Cuddy
RATING: R, for rough language and mature emotional themes
WARNINGS: Major character death; thoughts of suicide.
SPOILERS: No; it's just a story.
SUMMARY: A year in the life of House after Wilson dies.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Never will.
AUTHOR NOTES: Written as a "quick fic" in about one hour total; for Asynca on TWoP
BETA: None.


The Year Wilson Died


APRIL

Flowers are blooming. Birds are singing. All the little woodland creatures are having little woodland creature sex.

House hates it. He hates everything. He wishes the universe would fry itself to a single black crisp cinder and blow away into an endless screaming void.

How could Jimmy have been so fucking stupid to die when the world is being born anew?


MAY

May is worse.


JUNE

June is worse than May, then gets exponentially worse when Cuddy tells him to get his head out of his ass and does he think he's the first person ever to have lost someone close to them.

When he says yes she slaps him. Then she's repentant and he wants to tell her she was right but he can't because she's kissing him.

House sees Jimmy out of the corner of his eye. He looks tired and House wonders if the dead are tired all the time, thinking about all the things they never got to do or didn't finish.

He pushes Cuddy away.


JULY

Cameron invites him to watch the fireworks from the hospital roof. Nobody thinks he'll go, but he does.

The smell of gunpowder carries on the wind, and House thinks of blackened cinders falling about his feet.


AUGUST

August is hot and humid, the air pressing down like a stifling quilt.

Cuddy holds a summer dinner party at her house; the backyard is mined with picnic tables and festooned with bunting -- and how funny a word is that, bunting? How does that correlate with Bye baby bunting, Daddy's gone a'hunting, for to get a rabbit skin, to wrap his baby bunting in?

I ask you. How?


SEPTEMBER

Labor Day is a useless holiday if you're not laboring, and House certainly isn't.

There've been no new cases in three weeks. Foreman is actively looking for a new job, Chase is spending all his time in NICU, and Cameron keeps trying to interest House in some type of grievers' group, where everyone sits around and talks about how they're working through their anger at the dead person for leaving them.

House isn't angry.

He's furious.


OCTOBER

The trees are changing and so is House.

He's begun thinking seriously about killing himself, about ending this fucking charade of normality.

Cuddy asks him out to dinner.


NOVEMBER

Cuddy asks him over for Thanksgiving.


DECEMBER

Cuddy asks him over for Christmas.

House buys her a gift.


JANUARY

House spends New Year's Eve with Cuddy.

He sees Jimmy again, over Cuddy's left shoulder.

Jimmy smiles at him. He doesn't look as tired as before.


FEBRUARY

Valentine's Day, and House finds an old card in a forgotten file in the back of a desk drawer.

House -- happy Valentine's Day you horse's ass, the card reads. Love, Wilson

House grips the card tightly for a long moment, then bends forward, slowly. The tears come, swift and hot. The paper wilts under the tidal force of his grief.


MARCH

March sucks.


APRIL

Cuddy meets him at the clinic door.

"You ready?" she says.

"Yeah," he replies. "Let's go. Jimmy'll be upset if we're late."

Cuddy touches the small pebbles in her suit pocket, as if for good luck. As they walk out the front door, she holds House's hand.

Good luck.


~ fin

Comments

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

TWoP Quick Fic - YAY!!!!!

Excellent, excellent, excellent. I will echo something Asynca said to me - House/Cuddy in the context of House/Wilson is surprisingly tolerable. Oh, all right, more than tolerable.

[elynittria.livejournal.com]

House/Cuddy in the context of House/Wilson is surprisingly tolerable.

Agreed. I don't think I'd go for House/Cuddy by itself (i.e., without acknowledging House's feelings for Wilson), but I can see them as a threesome (whether that occurs when all three are alive or not).

[purridot.livejournal.com]

Pairings other than H/W are "tolerable?"

La la la la, I can't hear you...

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

Oh dear. It was all Asynca -- it just fit together perfectly, and I couldn't resist the temptation.

... House/Cuddy in the context of House/Wilson is surprisingly tolerable. Oh, all right, more than tolerable.

I agree completely.

[asynca.livejournal.com]

AND I HATE YOU BOTH. *cries pitifully*

You know, it would be markedly less painful if you sucked as a writer. You might want to consider trying that.

[poeia.livejournal.com]

WAW!!!

I can't say I wasn't warned. Paraoptimistic said "If anyone needs a good cry before bed, I'll second The Year Wilson Died." and she was right.

[diysheep.livejournal.com]

You killed him off P-Diddy - you bastard!

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

::cries::

But in a totally good way. At least, until I got to February ::cries like Cameron::

House/Wilson/Cuddy rules, however, so on balance you win XD

[housepiglet.livejournal.com]

Great stuff, thanks!

February - heartbreaking (sob)

[(Anonymous)]

Damn. I'm blaming you, now the rest of the day is going to suck, have got to find some fluff asap. I don't do deathfics but this is to good not to like. (I'm MisanthropicObs on TWoP)

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

"Playing around" -- my ass! This is freakin' gorgeous. I love how you've drawn the enormity of House's grief in such spare sentences, and the line in August about Cuddy's backyard being "mined with picnic tables" echoes his desire to see the world as a blackened cinder in a way that makes me stand in awe.

It's also perfect timing that House makes those bitter observations in August. There's something about that kind of grief that, around four months after the fact, one crawls out of the wreckage of emotions, looks around and is offended that the world is unchanged.

And I cried along with House in February.

H/W/C really does work well together. There's something about that bond, with House as the center point, that's fascinating and just fits.

[purridot.livejournal.com]

I loved "A Time To Gather Stones Together" and this fits in very nicely there, whether it was meant as a sequel or not. I always imagined House in that story unexpectedly finding a reminder of Wilson as he did in February here -- so desperately, awfully sad.

I actually don't mind the Huddy here. House needs a reason to go on... But owwwww, my heart hurts for poor House! (And Jimmy too).

[vitawash24.livejournal.com]

*wails*

*softly, because I'm in my office*

Lovely, sweet, and just heartbreaking, too.

[genagirl.livejournal.com]

Leave it to you - your "playing around" is a hand grenade of emotion! Man, that hurt but in a good way.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Nice. Pointed and elegant.

[angelfirenze.livejournal.com]

Well, it didn't make me cry, but probably would if I thought about it long enough. *blinks* See? *blinks some more* You're just lucky I'm listening to Interpol and it's a bit hard to be sad while listening to 'Next Exit.' *nods*

[baba-o-reily.livejournal.com]

I have to say that if I had to pick one other 'ship' besides House/Wilson it would be House/Cuddy. I mean, even though she's higher up on the food chain as far as hospital business goes whereas Wilson is House's equal, she respects House, and, as much as I'm sure he would hate to admit it, he respects her. This was really well written. This seems, perhaps, like the prequel to the story you wrote a little while back where House visits Wilson's grave with his son(?) Evan. I remember he and Cuddy had been married for some time in that one. *shrugs and grins*

[axmxz.livejournal.com]

:(

Poor House. Should've killed himself.

Fic: The Year Wilson Died

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

Oh, my. Gorgeous.

I loved the "May is worse," and "March sucks."
The simplicity is very effecting. Jimmy there, not looking so tired.

Hmm.

[melodywilde.livejournal.com]

Well-written and sad and oh so right in every way. Wonderful job!

[luthorienne.livejournal.com]

Wow.

I'm speechless, and I'm going to cry.

It's not enough to say this is good, but it's all I've got. It's very, very good.

[wizefics.livejournal.com]

Here via crack_van and this was really gorgeous and so sad.