Houseficlet: What's Up, Doc?
Mar. 27th, 2009 06:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nightdog_barksPosted to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
house_wilson.
TITLE: What's Up, Doc?
AUTHOR:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nightdog_writes.
CHARACTERS: House, Wilson
RATING: NC-17
WARNINGS: Yes, for boys kissing and ... touching.
SPOILERS: No.
SUMMARY: Spring comes early to Princeton-Plainsboro ...
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Never will.
AUTHOR NOTES: Credit and inspiration for this small story goes to a recent post byignazwisdom, which is absolutely not what she intended. Hee. Illustrative work at the end is by the amazing bironic and is used with her permission. 663 words.
BETA: My intrepid First Readers, with especial thanks totopaz_eyes and deelaundry.
What's Up, Doc?
"House!" Wilson hisses. "Can't this wait until we're back -- " He gasps as a hand shoves between his fuzzy thighs. " -- home?"
"Nope," House says. "Can't help myself." He pushes Wilson against the wall, and God how did he suddenly grow that extra pair of hands? Wilson finds that his paws are suddenly pinned above his head, and House's face is buried in the soft crook of his neck. He can hear House making a weird snuffling noise, and then Wilson gasps again as his hind legs are nudged farther apart.
"House," Wilson says again. His crotch is already warm; the warmth spreads slowly up through his groin and he leans his head back. A floppy ear droops into his face and he tries to shake it away.
"Something about you," House murmurs. "Dressed as an overtly Christian metaphor. Drives me crazy." He presses closer, one hand searching blindly for the opening in Wilson's costume. "What's the deal, anyway?" he whispers. "Bunnies and eggs. Rabbits don't lay eggs."
"Sym -- symbols of springtime." The brass rivets from the goddamn pompom buttons are digging into Wilson's chest, and the hand is fumbling, fumbling ... "Ah! House! Somebody's going to open the door," Wilson admonishes, then gasps loudly as the hand finds its way in. "Saw ... the janitor ... earlier."
"Yeah?" House says, and oh shit that hand is wiggling, working, squeezing through Wilson's boxers. "Wanna invite him in too?"
"No," Wilson grits out. The hand is joined by another, and Wilson's wrists are free. He grabs House's broad shoulders, grasping clumsily with the big padded paws. He chokes down laughter at the sight.
"House," he says. "House, you're having sex with a ... giant ... rabbit. What's the ... what's the differential on that?"
"Shut up," House growls. "Or you'll find one of those plastic carrots up your ass." The hands pause. "Hey, you think -- "
"No." Wilson shakes his head and thrusts his hips forward. "What you were ... what you were doing." He lowers a paw; House's sudden hiss of inhaled breath tells him he's found his erection. The paw's too big to get a sturdy grip, though, and after a moment House slips a hand free and bats it away.
"Don't do that," Wilson mumbles, but it's too late and House is tugging at his jeans, wriggling until they're a limp blue tangle around his ankles. Something else isn't limp at all, though, and House coaxes it free.
"No, see, you're gonna get the costume all -- "
"Shut up," House says again. "We're in the janitor's closet. Plenty of wipe-ups in here."
"But -- "
Wilson's objection is silenced as House's mouth covers his; the hand still inside Wilson's boxers does something obscene with its fingers and Wilson's brain abruptly shorts out. He wraps his oversized, fuzzy arms around House's shoulders and pulls him close, and then they're moving against each other, man and costumed bunny, fake pink fur against bare skin, strands of green cellophane grass drifting to the floor. House makes a soft, choking sound, pushes hard against Wilson's plushy hip a couple more times before relaxing. Wilson follows almost immediately, feels the smooth interior material of the costume become wet and warmly sticky.
"Ah," Wilson says. "Um."
"Aren't you supposed to say something like 'here comes Peter Cottontail?'"
"Different ... story. Peter didn't carry around a basket of ... chocolate eggs."
Both men sink slowly to the floor; Wilson rests his back against the wall as House joins him.
"So tell me again why a Jew is dressed up as the Easter bunny?"
Wilson starts to scrub at his face but his ears are in his way again.
"Guy from the agency called in sick. Brenda said ... they needed a replacement."
"And she asked you?"
"She ordered me."
House laughs. "Here comes Peter Cottontail," he sings softly. "Hoppin' down the bunny trail ... " He turns his head, and Wilson can see his teeth gleaming in the half-light. "Now, where's that carrot?" he says.
~ fin
house_wilson.TITLE: What's Up, Doc?
AUTHOR:
nightdog_writes. CHARACTERS: House, Wilson
RATING: NC-17
WARNINGS: Yes, for boys kissing and ... touching.
SPOILERS: No.
SUMMARY: Spring comes early to Princeton-Plainsboro ...
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Never will.
AUTHOR NOTES: Credit and inspiration for this small story goes to a recent post by
ignazwisdom, which is absolutely not what she intended. Hee. Illustrative work at the end is by the amazing bironic and is used with her permission. 663 words. BETA: My intrepid First Readers, with especial thanks to
topaz_eyes and deelaundry.What's Up, Doc?
"House!" Wilson hisses. "Can't this wait until we're back -- " He gasps as a hand shoves between his fuzzy thighs. " -- home?"
"Nope," House says. "Can't help myself." He pushes Wilson against the wall, and God how did he suddenly grow that extra pair of hands? Wilson finds that his paws are suddenly pinned above his head, and House's face is buried in the soft crook of his neck. He can hear House making a weird snuffling noise, and then Wilson gasps again as his hind legs are nudged farther apart.
"House," Wilson says again. His crotch is already warm; the warmth spreads slowly up through his groin and he leans his head back. A floppy ear droops into his face and he tries to shake it away.
"Something about you," House murmurs. "Dressed as an overtly Christian metaphor. Drives me crazy." He presses closer, one hand searching blindly for the opening in Wilson's costume. "What's the deal, anyway?" he whispers. "Bunnies and eggs. Rabbits don't lay eggs."
"Sym -- symbols of springtime." The brass rivets from the goddamn pompom buttons are digging into Wilson's chest, and the hand is fumbling, fumbling ... "Ah! House! Somebody's going to open the door," Wilson admonishes, then gasps loudly as the hand finds its way in. "Saw ... the janitor ... earlier."
"Yeah?" House says, and oh shit that hand is wiggling, working, squeezing through Wilson's boxers. "Wanna invite him in too?"
"No," Wilson grits out. The hand is joined by another, and Wilson's wrists are free. He grabs House's broad shoulders, grasping clumsily with the big padded paws. He chokes down laughter at the sight.
"House," he says. "House, you're having sex with a ... giant ... rabbit. What's the ... what's the differential on that?"
"Shut up," House growls. "Or you'll find one of those plastic carrots up your ass." The hands pause. "Hey, you think -- "
"No." Wilson shakes his head and thrusts his hips forward. "What you were ... what you were doing." He lowers a paw; House's sudden hiss of inhaled breath tells him he's found his erection. The paw's too big to get a sturdy grip, though, and after a moment House slips a hand free and bats it away.
"Don't do that," Wilson mumbles, but it's too late and House is tugging at his jeans, wriggling until they're a limp blue tangle around his ankles. Something else isn't limp at all, though, and House coaxes it free.
"No, see, you're gonna get the costume all -- "
"Shut up," House says again. "We're in the janitor's closet. Plenty of wipe-ups in here."
"But -- "
Wilson's objection is silenced as House's mouth covers his; the hand still inside Wilson's boxers does something obscene with its fingers and Wilson's brain abruptly shorts out. He wraps his oversized, fuzzy arms around House's shoulders and pulls him close, and then they're moving against each other, man and costumed bunny, fake pink fur against bare skin, strands of green cellophane grass drifting to the floor. House makes a soft, choking sound, pushes hard against Wilson's plushy hip a couple more times before relaxing. Wilson follows almost immediately, feels the smooth interior material of the costume become wet and warmly sticky.
"Ah," Wilson says. "Um."
"Aren't you supposed to say something like 'here comes Peter Cottontail?'"
"Different ... story. Peter didn't carry around a basket of ... chocolate eggs."
Both men sink slowly to the floor; Wilson rests his back against the wall as House joins him.
"So tell me again why a Jew is dressed up as the Easter bunny?"
Wilson starts to scrub at his face but his ears are in his way again.
"Guy from the agency called in sick. Brenda said ... they needed a replacement."
"And she asked you?"
"She ordered me."
House laughs. "Here comes Peter Cottontail," he sings softly. "Hoppin' down the bunny trail ... " He turns his head, and Wilson can see his teeth gleaming in the half-light. "Now, where's that carrot?" he says.
~ fin
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-27 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-27 11:55 pm (UTC)ND, this continues to be priceless. And, uh, just be glad I chose that bunny suit over other shots, like, say, this one.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:52 pm (UTC)Not that bunny suit, though. YIKES.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:44 pm (UTC)And if you're wrong, I don't wanna be right. *g*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:54 pm (UTC)... oh, wait.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 01:48 am (UTC)That is just a big ol' ball of wrong.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:56 pm (UTC)*g*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 01:58 am (UTC)Glad I heeded the warnings. =O
But the Runny Babbit picture is very cute! =D
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 12:57 am (UTC)I'll have to keep that idea in mind to use sometime.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 11:49 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 11:34 am (UTC)I don't seem to have an icon for 'that was amazingly funny and also hot' so this one will have to do :D
Also, huge LOLs at the pic.
*mems*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 11:56 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it! And YAY for mem'ing!!!!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-28 08:38 pm (UTC)For some strange reason, the first pairing that came to mind for this was Foreman/Wilson. I told
Heh.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 12:58 am (UTC)Thank you! This was a lot of fun to write so I'm really glad folks are enjoying it. :-D