So Then That Happened ...

[nightdog_barks]

SO. I've been away for a bit, and here's why ...



For about two weeks I confronted the possibility that I might have ovarian cancer. Six years ago, I had breast cancer and had a lumpectomy. Last Thursday, I had a total hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (that means they took out my uterus, fallopian tubes, cervix, and both ovaries -- the current protocol for women over the age of 45). I had a 16-cm ovarian cyst on my right side; it turned out to be simply filled with a clear liquid. Based on all of his tests and observations, the surgeon is 99% sure I do NOT have ovarian cancer (the pathology lab test has not come back yet, but he doesn't think it will show anything). I was discharged from the hospital on Monday and have been recovering at home. Aside from feeling like I've been hit by a truck, I'm doing okay.



In addition to all this, I am reading David Sedaris' Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977 - 2002 and loving it. :-)

Comments

[silverjackal]

I'm very sorry you've been through such an ordeal (both the stress from the illness and the resolution), but it's wonderful to hear that everything is actually fine. It's good that they caught the cyst in any case because that's certainly not small! D:

Hopefully your recovery will be just as prompt and painless as possible.

[nightdog_barks]

Omg Jackal, the stress was terrible. It feels as though events moved so fast, everything is just now catching up with me. I think I'm most surprised at how little real pain I've had -- the surgeon prescribed a drug called Tramadol, and I've hardly needed to take any pills at all. ♥ ♥ ♥

[silverjackal]

I'm sure I can't imagine how bad the stress must have been. 1. They discover something very worrying. 2. It could be cancer, and a potentially very serious type. 3. You have no time to adjust to the diagnosis before bingo! Treatment. 4. Treatment is invasive and physically challenging to recover from because it's not minor. 5. You are already a cancer survivor, so any chance of the big C prompts very big feelings and memories associated with your original diagnosis and treatment... 6. And just like that it's over, with the best of all possible outcomes, but it was still a highly traumatic series of events which violated your bodily autonomy, and which has resulted in irrevocable physical changes. I'm sure there are more subtleties involved in there that I've missed. :( The TL:DR version of my list is that it's not remotely unreasonable to have a strong abreaction after something like that, or even PTSD, and if you feel like you need to speak to someone you should absolutely consider doing so if you haven't already thought of it yourself. A professional, I mean, not just friends and family.This shit's not for amateurs, yes? You know me, my default suggestion would also be meditation, but that's meant as a complimentary thing, not the sole help.

It's very good to hear that you're experiencing minimal pain, though. Quite apart from the relative pleasure that this is so, it's also a good indicator of proper healing. :)