The quote from Craig Ferguson's book reminded me of one of my g'father's favorite expressions (one I think of often when I have to deal with teenagers) - all of them should be put in a barrel with a bung hole & the bung removed once a day to feed/water them then replace until they turned at least 24.

As for George Will he hasn't been a resident of this planet for a very long time, but then none of the so-called "pundits" have a clue about what life in this country is actually like.